Memoirs of the mirror
by TillyToke89
Summary: Memoirs of the mirror of Erised. This chapter features Andromeda Black's hopes and dreams for her family in her seventh year of Hogwarts. I wanted to show the tragedy of losing a persons loved ones, not physically, but by watching them drift away. Andromeda feels powerless to help her family member's who are now loyal to Voldemort, this is all about her disappoint and heartache.


_December's last snow fall thrashed against the ancient windows before finally coming to rest on the paved courtyard four storey's below. A lone student sat hunched on the floor of a disused classroom, perfectly oblivious of the gathering blizzard outside, while those few others who had stayed at school during the Christmas break now gathered in the great hall. They were warm and content, cloistered round a single table by the fire. Tonight they were neither Gryffindor or Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, they were but classmates reflecting on the year that was drawing to a close. Tomorrow the rest of their friends would return to school, classes and homework would resume, 1971 would be upon them and 1970 gone forever, but right now they would savour the last hours of the holidays. They raised their goblets of pumpkin juice and party punch, they patted one another on the back and wished each other well in the year to come, all while the snow continued to fall and the bell in the clock tower rung out around the grounds._

_They had, of course, noticed the absence of one particular person. She was a seventh-year Slytherin, Andromeda Black, and this was the first year anyone had known her to stay in school during the holidays. Nobody was quite sure why she hadn't gone home, or why she had spent most of each day in a crestfallen daze, pacing around and lost in thought. None of them had ever seen her look more troubled or witnessed her so downcast in all the years they had known her. Rumour had it that her family was falling apart and she was secretly in love with a muggle-born but none were bold enough to ask. She had consistently shirked company and conversation with the other students throughout the holidays, so although they were aware of her empty seat on the bench tonight, it came as no great surprise that she chose not to join in. They decided it best to leave her to her own devices and so they carried on with their celebrations without her. _

_Andromeda wasn't quite as short tempered as her older sister, Bellatrix, or quite as standoffish as Narcissa, her youngest sibling, but she was still a member of the house of Black and they all knew better than to question her. Despite that she was generally friendlier than the rest of her family she was no more tolerant of people prying about their business than her sisters would have been. If she wanted to spend the New Year alone then her classmates would gladly offer no persuasion to the contrary, she wasn't much fun to be around lately as it was. _

_The old classroom where she now sat hadn't been occupied in decades, cobwebs decorated every nook and cranny of its narrow, rectangular space. An old sheet hung over a set of desks and chairs. Faded chalk marks on the blackboard, no longer legible, stood as remnants of a former time; of a classroom once full of life, now dark and damp, deserted of all but one._

_Andromeda no longer fought back the tears as she buried her face in her hands, nobody could see her now. She was far away from everyone, and in her own company she found solace, she always had. There were no students to look over her shoulder and then awkwardly back away, all the while wondering if the Black family's inherent disposal for madness had finally caught up with her too. There was no mother to scoff at her, to scold her and tell her that crying was vulgar and weak. No father to relish yet another opportunity to make known his disgust and disappointment in her. There were no sisters to comfort her as they would have done in the past; back when they were small children, back before the poison had set in._

_As Andromeda blinked and rubbed her eyes, and cleared the way for another bout of tears she noticed for the first time two clawed feet protruding from a tall, covered object directly in front of her. With a soft gasp of shock she scuttled backwards against the stone wall and clambered upright. She withdrew her wand from her nightgown's velvet sleeve and tried to catch her breath._

_She squinted in the dull light at the small, compact set of feet, "show yourself" she demanded to whomever, or whatever, was hiding there. _

_There came no reply, no movement._

_"Lumos" she whispered and a bright light emitted from her wand, enabling her to see more clearly. She looked at the clawed feet again, now they looked like they were solid gold. _

_"What the-?" she said edgily, her heart pounded. _

_"Wingardium Leviosa!" She flicked her wand and the white sheet covering the object rose up and then fell to a heap on the wooden floor. _

_Andromeda breathed a sigh of relief. _

_It was just a mirror. _

_She took a step towards it, she prepared to wipe her puffy eyes one last time, to sweep her matted hair off her forehead in order to return to her dorm where nobody would be any the wiser of her midnight stroll around the castle. Least of all the caretaker, he would be in the staff room with the teachers for a few hours yet to come, mercifully, she thought to herself. Nobody would ever know that she'd spent the New Year alone in an old classroom sobbing by herself. _

_But she staggered backwards again as soon as she glimpsed the sight in front of her. She gasped again, this time much louder than before._

_Andromeda had expected to see her reflection- and she did- but to her astonishment she wasn't alone. She placed her hand over her heart and tried to catch her breath once more. Her wand fell out of her grip and onto the floor, clinking and clanking as it tumbled and bounced before coming to rest and illuminating the mirror from its feet up. Now she could see an engraving etched into the frame. Like the chalk on the blackboard it seemed to be unreadable. _

_She stood where she was with a deathly stillness. She wanted to run away, back to the warmth of her bed and the safety of her familiar surroundings, but the pull of human curiosity was strong, and in the end it won. _

_Andromeda took a deep breath and stepped forward again. Her eyes skirted around her reflection at first, she couldn't look directly at herself, or at the two other figures who surrounded her. The fear was overwhelming, but yet again, as it always did, that same curiosity managed to overpower her and she eventually fixed her stare firmly on that most unusual scene._

_Her jaw dropped a little as she peered in at herself, she looked slightly older now and her unruly hair was combed back into an elegant up-do. She was dressed up. 'But what for?' she wondered to herself. Her jaw dropped even lower just as her image stood back and revealed herself in a wedding gown, it was a simple dress of navy silk, her favourite material. The figure on her left gazed up at her, there was admiration in her lively blue eyes. She was Narcissa, and she looked much taller, much more grown up, but her innocent, childish expression of delight had returned to her- she had lost that simplicity and wonder in her current years, yet now, there it was again- the Narcissa she knew. She was right there, standing right there in their sitting room at home and she was smiling, she was beaming with pride as she surveyed her older sister's beauty. _

_Andromeda felt a tug of sudden, immense joy as she watched, she felt tears return to her eyes, but these weren't bitter, they weren't sorrowful. These tears she welcomed. _

_Behind them a figure dressed in the same flowing red dress as Narcissa's flitted in and out of the scene, it didn't take Andromeda long to realise it was Bellatrix. Her main of black locks sprang along untidily behind her, strands of her thick ringlets stuck out this way and that, and Andromeda looked at her in the mirror and laughed heartily. _

_"Typical Bella" she whispered to herself, "just as stubborn as always". In the years long gone by, in the days before they had begun to drift apart, Bellatrix's hair had been a running joke between the sisters- she obstinately refused to alter her hair in any way, she said she liked it as it was. Bellatrix was her own person then. As she stood at the mirror, Andromeda recalled a conversation in their bedroom many moons before, "you look like…like…what is it the muggles call it? Electrified?" young Narcissa had giggled as she playfully ruffled her oldest sister's messy hair. "Electrocuted" Andromeda had corrected her, "you're right, she does!", and the two wailed with laughter as Bellatrix crossed her arms and pouted in a mock show of offence before joining in. _

_These days, Andromeda thought to herself with a feeling of heavy lamentation, if anyone was to associate an unfortunate muggle affliction with Bellatrix like they had done that day, even in jest, the offence would be all too real. _

_Andromeda continued to watch herself and her sisters in the mirror. Bellatrix was stood beside her now, she was fussing, dabbing at Andromeda's cheekbones with rose tinted make-up, carefully and delicately adding the finishing touches to her face. They all looked so normal. For a few minutes they looked just like anyone else, like any other set of sisters preparing for a wedding, bonding and beautifying one another. Then Bellatrix stood back and like Narcissa, she smiled, she held her sister- the bride- by the shoulders and gave a nod of approval. The three turned their backs then, their arms linked, and left the scene. _

_Suddenly Andromeda was looking at her current self, her seventeen year old self in the here and now. Her sisters were gone from view as swiftly as they had appeared. She wanted to call them back, to shout at them not to leave but the words dried up on her tongue and she couldn't speak, and just as before she stood in the room alone again, and she was utterly perplexed by all it all. _

_Andromeda remained there for several minutes afterwards trying desperately to make sense of what it could all mean. There was a strong element of comfort in what she had just witnessed, could this mirror tell the future? Was everything going to be all right with her family after all? Would she eventually have the healthy relationships with her sisters that she longed for? Her heart was glad. She felt better than she had done in a long time, and when she was about to turn away and leave, promising herself she would return the next night, a movement in the mirror once more stilled her in her tracks and left her frozen on the spot. _

_Ted Tonks- a close friend who she had developed a romantic attachment to in the last year, but one that she didn't dare pursue given her family's prejudices- was beside her in the mirror. She was still in her wedding dress. Her heart leapt when she looked closer and she realised he was the groom. Ted. Ted Tonks. Surely not? She couldn't believe her eyes. How could this ever be possible? While she watched the image she placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes welled up with tears again as Narcissa and Bellatrix came into view in their matching scarlet dresses, they were still smiling. Still approving. They appeared to be at their wedding reception, and it was held in Black Manor of all places. Their spacious garden stretched out behind them and quaint decorations dangled from the marquee under which they all gathered. It looked, for the first time, like home. Like a welcoming, soothing refuge, it looked like what a home should be. Andromeda watched in awe. Was the fanaticism that had long scarred their lives, that was growing mightier with every month that slipped by, and threatening to destroy them all, actually going to subside somewhere along the way? Or perhaps, she hardly dared to think, disappear altogether?_

_She stumbled backwards and almost lost her balance at what she witnessed next. She saw her parents. She straightened up again and leaned in closer to the mirror. She saw her father, his stern face didn't look so frightening anymore, her mother's scowl was gone. In spite of their awkward gaits and their silence they had nonetheless transformed. _

_And then it happened again. They all turned and disappeared. Andromeda was left alone in the disused classroom staring at her present reflection once more. _

_"No, don't" she managed to speak this time, "don't go". She frowned, but her heart still felt glad. _

_"What are you?" she said to the mirror, half expecting an answer. It wouldn't be the first time innate objects had spoken in Hogwarts. "What is all this? You're showing me my future, aren't you? How?"_

_The only sound was the thick snow beating against the window pane. _

_"Show me the rest" she pleaded with the mirror, and she felt rather self aware and more than a tad silly as the words passed her lips, but she didn't stop. She couldn't. _

_"Let me see more" Andromeda said, "just one more-"_

_Before she finished her sentence the mirror clouded and a new vision started to emerge, whether by coincidence or due to her imploring, she didn't know, but she gladly stepped forward again._

_This time she watched the mirror journey through St. Mungo's hospital. Her heart sank. Had someone died? Been seriously hurt? She kept watching, the scene sped through every corridor, up every flight of stairs, she saw people lying helplessly in their beds; men, women and children with broken bones, unfortunate and bizarre medical maladies, sorry sight after sorry sight, until suddenly everything began to slow. She peered at a sign on the hospital wall, she couldn't read it at first, but then it became clear- "Maternity wing". Andromeda jumped up and down at the sight of her adult self as the doors opened, the classroom floors creaked beneath her but she didn't notice. There she sat on a hospital bed, a tiny new born cradled in her arms. "I'm going to have a child one day, I'm going to be a mother" she said out loud, "Oh, tell me it's a daughter. Tell me it's a little girl. Tell me I'm going to have a chance to have the mother-daughter relationship I've never had with my own mother, won't you? A little girl of my own who'll look after me when I grow old, who I can share everything with; a best friend, tell me-"_

_Bellatrix appeared on the scene next. "I'd tell you she's beautiful, but well-" she teased Andromeda, "-is it wrong that she reminds me of a Bertie Bott's bean right now?". Narcissa appeared and playfully slapped her sister's arm, and as Andromeda watched the scene she laughed with delight. She had a daughter. There was her husband, too, the love of her life. Her sisters by her side. She shed tears of joy as she watched it all unfurl in front of her. Another figure stepped into the scene then, and another, it was her parents again, then they were followed by two men. One was Lucius Malfoy, and it appeared he was dating Narcissa, the other was Rodolphus Lestrange._

_Andromeda's joy dampened slightly as she set eyes on Rodolphus. She stepped back from the mirror and sighed. _

_Only four months ago Bellatrix had married Rodolphus, they were both barely nineteen. Anyone could see that they weren't in love. The Black's and the Lestrange's had both pressured them into it. Andromeda had feared they wouldn't be happy together. Lately she blamed Rodolphus for strengthening Bellatrix's blood supremacist views even more. She no longer recognised her own sister. She had fallen so deeply into the dark arts and Narcissa was falling headlong in after her that Andromeda wondered if she had lost them both forever. _

_But no, 'it can't turn out like that' she said out loud and she studied the mirror again. 'Because look. Here we are. All of us, a family'. Her eyes lit up as she observed more and more, particularly the interaction between Bellatrix and Rodolphus. She was met with a pleasant and unexpected surprise. They were looking at one another, not with contempt but with respect. There was something different about them. Something vastly different. They seemed almost happy, and if not happy, at least civil with one another. Everything was going to be all right, after all._

_The scene started to blur again and soon, like a candle snuffed out in the dark, everything was gone._

_Andromeda didn't protest this time. She stood back from the mirror and sat on the floor, speechless and overjoyed. She had seen enough, for now at least. Tears poured her down face once more, but through them she smiled. _

_It was an hour later before she stood up, the things she had saw still swam around in her mind, she felt like she was walking on air. The smile still hadn't faded from her face. _

_She decided at last to return to her dorm, she felt like a whole new person now. She envisioned greeting her fellow students with pleasantries and apologies for her sulkiness over the past number of days, she anticipated falling asleep for the first time in weeks without family problems on her mind. A sound sleep, a bright future, everything seemed too good to be true. But it was true, she was convinced of that. The mirror had shown her, after all._

_Andromeda placed her hand on the old classroom door and pushed it open slightly, she peered out to check Apollyon Pringle- the horrid, spiteful caretaker wasn't roaming the halls again in search of rule breakers. She supposed the staff party would still be going on, having lost all track of time and being none the wiser to how much time had actually passed._

_She was wrong. Andromeda slammed the door shut again immediately as she found herself eye to eye with none other than Pringle._

_"Come out here" he snarled. "No walking the corridors at night! Come out here"_

_Andromeda swore quietly and stood against the door, but even Pringle wasn't going to upset her tonight. She wasn't sure anybody or anything could. _

_She cast a locking charm on the door to buy herself time. "I will fetch your head of house!" Pringle warned as he struggled fruitlessly to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. "Come out here" he shouted over and over again, each time feeling more powerless and disrespected than before. His rage grew and he pummelled the door with the palms of his hands._

_"Okay, look" Andromeda tried to reason, "I haven't broken any rules, I didn't vandalise or steal anything, I just needed a walk, time to clear my head. Time to think. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts for a bit. Nobody's got hurt, nothing's been damaged. Wouldn't you just, in the holiday spirit, let this one be?"_

_She raised her eyebrows in anticipation, awaiting his reply. _

_"Don't you dare argue with me, don't you dare argue with a teacher!" he said indignantly. _

_"You aren't a teacher, sir, you're a caretaker" Andromeda laughed, "I was just looking in the mirror. That's all. It's not against the rules to look in the mirror"_

_Pringle was wounded deeply by the caretaker comment. He had always wanted more out of life. Andromeda had no way of knowing, but his heart's desire had always been to teach. He had remained bitter about having to settle for being caretaker ever since, having to watch each new Professor start his or her career at Hogwarts, living his dream while he cleaned up vomit and swept up leaves for a living._

_Andromeda was about to speak again, to try to appeal to his better nature once more when an unusual sound distracted her attention. It sounded like cackling, sinister laughter reverberating up and down the corridor. Was Pringle laughing? What was so funny?_

_"What's so funny?" she asked him, "are you laughing?"_

_The cackling grew louder. And louder. _

_He was definitely laughing. Andromeda asked him again why he was laughing._

_"You found that pathetic mirror, did you?" he shouted through the keyhole, his voice was full of venom. "What did it tell you, eh?"_

_Andromeda didn't speak at first. She wondered why he had called it pathetic. How could anyone call such a wonderful object pathetic? "Never mind what I saw" she eventually said. She wasn't going to give Pringle a chance to trample on her dreams._

_"What was it? A handsome prince? All the galleon's you could ever wish for? I suppose you saw yourself owning Gringott's, or Honeydukes? Huh? And like a silly little fool you fell for it all, didn't you? That pathetic mirror, it's fooled many, girl, fooled many" he sneered._

_He had once fallen for it, too. He spoke from experience. He had felt the same elation as Andromeda as he watched himself being granted the post of Headmaster of Hogwarts one day. Then he had discovered the writing. The inscription. And his dreams crashed._

_He saw those fateful words in his mind even now: "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi – I show not your face but your heart's desire"_

_"It's not pathetic" Andromeda said defensively, "you miserable old man, why are you always so negative? Always so pessimistic?". She felt her high spirits ebb away as doubt began to creep in._

_"Read the inscription, silly fool" he called through to her, "read what it says around the frame! See for yourself! You thought it showed you your future, didn't you?", he cackled horribly again, "Wrong! Read the inscription, why don't you?"_

_Andromeda felt rage replace her doubt, and then fear._

_"Go on, read it" Pringle's voice continued to sing out._

_Andromeda crept back over to the mirror as silently as she could. She didn't want to look. But she had to know. Human curiosity demanded it of her once more._

_"Look!" Pringle shouted, "Look!" a voice in her head said, "Look! Look! Look at the inscription" the voices intermingled until Andromeda could stand it no more._

_She shot towards the mirror's frame and whispered "Lumos!". _

_Pringle noticed the room light up from the crack under the door. He rubbed his hands together and laughed. "See?", he gave one last malicious yell and finally gave up, he disappeared down the hallway and tittered and giggled to himself all the way, satisfied that he'd gotten revenge on yet one more unruly student. _

_Andromeda was left alone again. She wept silently as she traced the letters of the inscription with her finger- "I show not your face, but your heart's desire" _

_It was all wishful thinking. _

_She curled up on the floor and shut her eyes, and only after the sun rose on the brand new year did she find the strength to finally stand up. She walked slowly from the room, devastation loomed over her. Through the corridors and down the staircases she struggled, her long night dress dragging behind her until she found herself in the midst of a flock of new first-year students awaiting their tour of Hogwarts._

_Some of them stared, others stifled their laughter, she didn't care. Professor McGonagall rushed through the children and headed towards her, "whatever is the meaning of this?" she asked Andromeda. "Are you quite all right, Miss Black? For goodness sakes go and get your robes on"_

_Andromeda shrugged and made her way to the dungeons. Students along the way pointed and laughed. Narcissa looked embarrassed and appalled on seeing her and Andromeda's heart sank a little further. The disappointment was too great to bear. _

_She had lost her sisters. _

_The dark Lord had a lot to answer for, and all she could do now was hope- against all the odds- that someone out there would one day defeat him. She felt exhausted and defeated. She had no idea then, of course, that the one to defeat him would peer into that same ghastly mirror some two decades later, that he would feel the disappointment that she had felt, along with how many others? How many more people would the mirror of Erised drag into its clutches? How many more would it eat up and spit out? _

_(Read my next chapter to find out who's next. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback and criticism is welcome)_


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